Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Dear Alton Brown
Dear Alton Brown:
It's me, Ging, the "gluten-free Paula Deen," who auditioned for your special that is airing on the Food Network right now. It's called Dear Food Network, and their people sent me an email. I sent in my picture, some questions, showed them my blog. I was so excited because I, lowly GF Ging, might get to meet her idol, Alton Brown. I was ready to cancel class for it!
You didn't pick me. I wasn't so hurt til the show came on tonight. And now I'm really sad.
Alton, you have to know, I've been a fan of yours since your first season on Food Network. I used to post on your old fan site. And I have tried for years to see you in person, since you live near me -- Atlanta and Milledgeville are not far apart.
But Alton, I have to say, I'm really upset right now -- down right GLUM, to tell you the truth. Because I'm looking at this episode, and you've already entertained some of the questions I wanted to ask, that I proposed to Marquita at Dear Food Network. (We're still Facebook friends, I hope.)
I mean Alton, come on. Why am I not watching myself on your show right now? What was it about me that said, "Don't pick that stupid gluten free lady from Milledgeville?"
Seriously. I asked about the difference in fresh and frozen birds. How to brine. How to reduce my carbon footprint, how to make a GF gravy...
Oh wait. Maybe I know what it is. I mentioned the dreaded words.....GLUTEN FREE. That has to be it.
Maybe your people, your handlers, thought my allergy-concerned questions would not be appropriate. I don't know. Or maybe you thought not many people care about GF stuff.
But alas, I'm sitting here, all sad and filled with longing. I wanted to be there on YOUR SET watching you roast that freaking brined turkey (which I've been doing, BTW, since that first Romancing the Bird show).
Crap. I feel left out. I mean, you couldn't even let me sit in the audience? I would have been so cute, and I would have smiled a lot...whether you let me ask questions, or not.
Seriously, Alton, I feel so............unloved right now.
I know it was something I said. I just wish I knew what. My chance at six degrees of Alton Brown, dashed and dazed.
Not feeling much love,