Adventures in Gluten (and Sugar) Freedom from a southern blogger chick!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Dear Alton Brown

Dear Alton Brown:

It's me, Ging, the "gluten-free Paula Deen," who auditioned for your special that is airing on the Food Network right now. It's called Dear Food Network, and their people sent me an email. I sent in my picture, some questions, showed them my blog. I was so excited because I, lowly GF Ging, might get to meet her idol, Alton Brown. I was ready to cancel class for it!

You didn't pick me. I wasn't so hurt til the show came on tonight. And now I'm really sad.

Alton, you have to know, I've been a fan of yours since your first season on Food Network. I used to post on your old fan site. And I have tried for years to see you in person, since you live near me -- Atlanta and Milledgeville are not far apart.

But Alton, I have to say, I'm really upset right now -- down right GLUM, to tell you the truth. Because I'm looking at this episode, and you've already entertained some of the questions I wanted to ask, that I proposed to Marquita at Dear Food Network. (We're still Facebook friends, I hope.)

I mean Alton, come on. Why am I not watching myself on your show right now? What was it about me that said, "Don't pick that stupid gluten free lady from Milledgeville?"

Seriously. I asked about the difference in fresh and frozen birds. How to brine. How to reduce my carbon footprint, how to make a GF gravy...

Oh wait. Maybe I know what it is. I mentioned the dreaded words.....GLUTEN FREE. That has to be it.

Maybe your people, your handlers, thought my allergy-concerned questions would not be appropriate. I don't know. Or maybe you thought not many people care about GF stuff.

Look around.

But alas, I'm sitting here, all sad and filled with longing. I wanted to be there on YOUR SET watching you roast that freaking brined turkey (which I've been doing, BTW, since that first Romancing the Bird show).

Crap. I feel left out. I mean, you couldn't even let me sit in the audience? I would have been so cute, and I would have smiled a lot...whether you let me ask questions, or not.

Seriously, Alton, I feel so............unloved right now.

I know it was something I said. I just wish I knew what. My chance at six degrees of Alton Brown, dashed and dazed.

Not feeling much love,


Gluti Girl said...

I love you Ginger! Hey, he doesn't know what he's missing!

Karen said...

The Food Network is just ignoring the fact that a lot of people have special needs in the area of food. We need good recipes, too! We need a repersentative on the air, too. As much as I love Paula Deen, I can not eat much at her restaurant. Please, Alton Brown and Food Network, get someone on there who understands how I need to eat.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Gluten free Kay said...

I would have picked you, Ginger! You're braver than I am for even trying. Keep it up! We'll make a gluten free dent in mainstream cooking shows yet!

Gluten Free Steve said...

You're loved, trust me! I emailed the Food Network to do a gluten free challenge on the next season of "Next Food Network Star" and heard nothing back. You're not alone in the gluten free lonely world.

a kelly said...

I'm so disappointed for you! Don't give up hope... and try again!

Gluten free Kay said...

I'd have picked you! He's just fearful because he doesn't speak "gluten free." It's like a foreign language. He'd have to reprogram the food part of his brain, and that's scary.

Thanks for trying to get the word out for all of us!